The 6 stages of any project:
----------------------------------1 Enthusiasm
2 Disillusionment
3 Panic
4 Search for the guilty
5 Punishment of the innocent
6 Reward of the non-participants
Ideal project manager: If you get in my way, I'll kill you!
Somewhat less than ideal project manager: If you get in my way, you'll kill me!
Somewhat misguided project manager: If I get in my way, I'll kill you!
A tough project manager (eats glass, live cats, etc.): If I get in your way, I'll kill you!
Dyslexic, functionally illiterate project manager: If get kill in will way I you.
Messianic project manager: I am the way! Kill me if you can!
Suicidal project manager: Get away, I'll kill us all!
Thoughtful but ineffective project manager: If you kill me, I'll get in your way.
Project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious: If I kill you, I'll get in your way.
Project manager from New York: If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm.
Project manager who is about to get in big trouble: I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way, so no one will get killed.
Weak, uninspired, lackluster project manager: If you kill me, so what? If you get in my way, who cares?
Pragmatic project manager: If I kill me, you'll get your way.
Every project manager to date: Kill me, it's the only way.
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ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH!